My post burnout life has included figuring out how to remain ambitious without driving myself into the ground again.
It almost feels like a dirty word for a burnout expert to utter because we are surrounded by talk of work life balance and are supposed to be building an awareness of our mental health — two things that get pushed out of the way when the pressure and desire created by ambition take over.
Even when we are at our most stressed and exhausted, we are looking for ways to be more productive and successful. As humans, for whatever reason, we just can’t help ourselves when it comes to the output of our lives.
And this, is where the eager beavers and high-achievers start to go wrong.
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What Is Ambition?
Ambitious people have a strong desire to do or to achieve something that typically requires hard work and determination. It’s a spark inside of you to keep putting effort into reaching your goals. Sure, that light dims with stress and exhaustion, but it still wants to shine again.
The ambitious people who have come through my coaching practice kept working beyond their means until they hit a wall. They did this because that’s what they thought ambitious people are supposed to do.
The ambition that drives many people often turns sour because:
- They aren’t working toward their own goals and priorities.
- They aren’t working at their own pace.
- Their ambition isn’t fueled with positive intention, rather with feelings of shame or being stuck.
Are You Born Ambitious?
No one is born being ambitious. It’s not a trait you do or don’t possess. We all experience ambition on some level, in some aspect of our lives.
But, the “go-getters” who are willing to work hard for the grand prize have a higher release of dopamine in certain areas of their brain known for their role in reward and motivation. Ambition can cause a relentless dopamine feedback loop in your brain that expects higher and higher rewards. It motivates us with increasing stakes and drives us to take bigger risks.
A 2012 study found that ambition is a strong predictor of career success, but was not related to life fulfillment.
Ambition might have a stronger impact on your mental health. Studies have consistently shown that people motivated by “external” markers of success like money or fame, aren’t as fulfilled as people fueled by “internal” markers like personal growth or knowledge.
Basically, if your ambition is fueled by a desire to be rich and famous, your satisfaction will be short-lived.
Finding A Different Way to Channel It
A lot of ambitious people equate ambition with being busy, always on-the-go, and a do “whatever it takes” attitude. These three traits are stress-inducing and not focused on a fulfilling outcome.
It’s the ambitious that can envision a steady path to reaching their goals, expect obstacles and challenges, and have clear, meaningful priorities that find themselves less stressed while striving to reach their goals. They have a daily routine that supports their mental health and they quash negative thoughts that can cause short-sighted panic.
You don’t have to scale back your ambition to be less stressed. You need to redefine and recalibrate it.
There are three things about ambition that I needed to grasp in order to change the way I thought about it:
- Life is constantly changing and evolving.
- We never ‘arrive’ so to speak, so we need to learn how to enjoy the process.
- Happiness and fulfillment come from growth. Find work that is meaningful and challenging.
This perspective on ambition changes the trajectory of goal-setting and adds some grounding to the process. It also keeps ambition from feeling selfish or greedy.
Be Ambitious With Less Stress
You and I can keep reaching for the stars in a more mindful way in an effort to preserve our mental health and keep our stress levels in check.
Here are three ways to remain ambitious without overwhelming yourself:
- Keep things in the proper perspective: Know that pressure can be temporary. While it may feel crushing in the moment, it doesn’t have to last forever. In fact, a quick way to get perspective is to ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now? Five years from now?”
- Know when to shut it down: One of the biggest mistakes the ambitious and achievement-oriented make is to allow their stress to invade their life 24/7. They continue to dwell on a challenge or a problem long after the work day is done. Or, consistently check their work email while on vacation.
- Pursue progress, not perfection: On a rational level, you know perfection is impossible. Yet the ambitious voice in your head tells you to strive for it anyway. Instead of setting yourself up for failure with unrealistic expectations, redirect your attention to progress. Aim to move the needle forward a little each day, rather than all at once.
