Ever had one of those moments where your brain throws a full-blown fire drill over something minor?
I did. Yesterday.
I am leading a workshop about building mental strength in a few days, and as I practiced, I couldn’t stop feeling totally unprepared. (Yes, I see the irony here.)
My inner critic kept trying to interrupt with its opinion that the workshop is not going to go well, causing sparks of panic.
Panic reactions are natural and feel automatic when you are facing a challenge. BUT, they are not inevitable.
This is where my inner coach knows its time to take over so that my brain can respond calmly instead of allowing itself to spiral into negative chaos.
I have rewired my brain to do this.
As I practiced, I used a little trick – naming my emotions out loud. “Okay, I’m feeling anxious because I want this to go perfectly.” And just like that, the grip of panic started to loosen.
I am going to show you how to rewire your brain with the same quick exercises (like naming your emotions) I used to build the confidence and resilience that allow me to see challenges as opportunities.
And, for what it’s worth, no one is born with confidence or resilience. We all have to learn how to build it throughout our lives.
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Why We Default to Panic
You’re facing a high-stakes moment. Maybe it’s a tough conversation, a complicated decision, or making a great first impression on a new client. Your heart is racing like you are being chased by a mountain lion. (Spoiler: there’s no mountain lion.) What is going on?
Why does your brain seem to enjoy pulling the fire alarm at the worst possible times?
It’s nothing you did or have done – it’s how our brains are wired.
Your brain is wired to detect threats, and when it perceives there is one present, it launches your natural stress response to “protect you.” Except, our natural stress response is outdated. We are still wired like we live in caveman days, and we have to outrun a vicious saber-toothed tiger.
Your natural stress response reroutes oxygen and energy to your limbs because it still thinks the threat requires you to run – not think. So, less oxygen is making it to your brain while it is filling up with stress hormones that keep you from thinking clearly. While that worked in caveman days, now threats are more mental than physical. We need that clear mind to solve the problem that made us panic.
Your brain cannot tell the difference between threats. It sees them all as a saber-toothed tiger, regardless if it is a modern threat like a nasty email or a low bank balance. Your natural stress response means logical thinking takes a backseat as your emotional brain drives the panic bus.
See? Not your fault.
Because these panic responses are automatic and you’ve never thought to challenge them, they are basically habits that have been practiced and perfected over time.
The good news? Your brain is malleable, which means your stress response can be changed.
With practice and intention, you can rewire your brain to respond with calm, clarity, and confidence. You can teach your brain to pause, assess, and handle things rationally.
The Confidence Circuit – How to Make it Your Default Response
Now that you know your brain is trigger-happy with the panic button, let’s talk about how to hack the system.
Think of this as upgrading your brain’s operating system from “freak out and freeze” to “stay calm and carry on.”
Your brain is a work in progress, not a finished product. Your brain can adapt and change over time by forming new neural pathways. (This is called neuroplasticity.) The habits and thought patterns you reinforce – good or bad – are the ones your brain will default to in stressful situations.
When you repeatedly respond to challenges and obstacles with composure, you strengthen the neural pathways associated with confidence. Think of it like carving a hiking trail or paving a new road in your brain. The more you use it, the clearer and easier it becomes to follow.
Panic, on the other hand, is an overgrown path. If you stop taking that new route and redirect to confidence the panic trail starts to fade. This is how you rewire your brain.
Building your confidence circuit is all about learning to respond rather than react.
It’s not about never feeling stress or hearing your inner critic but managing the stress or inner critic with a clear, steady hand.
Quick Strategies to Rewire Your Brain and Build Confidence Over Panic
Now, the good stuff – how you can rewire your brain to skip the panic button and go straight to confidence. These strategies are simple, fast, and effective. The first time you try these they might feel a little unnatural, but with practice and repetition, you’ll feel them become your natural response.
- Name It to Take It
When panic strikes, your brain feels like it is spinning out of control. One of the quickest ways to regain control is to simply label what you’re feeling.
How it works: When you name your emotion – “I’m feeling anxious,” or “This is stressful” – you activate the logical part of your brain. (Your prefrontal cortex.) This helps calm down the emotional part of your brain that wants to pull the fire alarm.
Why it works: Putting words to your emotions creates space between you and the feeling, making it easier to asses and manage.
Note: Try it the next time you feel overwhelmed. You will be surprised how quickly it takes the edge off.
- Box Breathing for Instant Calm
When your breathing goes haywire, so does your brain. Box Breathing – which is used by the Navy SEALS, is simple and effective.
How to do it:
- Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 counts.
- Hold your breath for 4 sections.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for 4 counts.
- Hold your breath again for 4 counts.
- Repeat 3-4 times.
Why it works: This controlled breathing slows your heart rate, signals to your nervous system that you are safe, and stops your brain from spiraling into panic.
- Power Posing (my favorite)
You can fake it ‘til you make it by standing in a confidence pose for just two minutes. This can trick your brain into believing you’re in control.
What to do: Stand tall, feet shoulder-width apart, hands on your hips. Hold it for 2 minutes, breathing deeply.
Why it works: Research shows that power posing boosts testosterone (the confidence hormone) and lowers cortisol (the stress hormone.) Your body tells your brain, “We’ve got this!”
- Anchor Yourself with “If, Then” Statements
If you tend to freeze up in a stressful moment, you can pre-plan your response to prevent it.How to use it: Create “if, then” statements to prepare for situations that usually trigger you.Example: If I forget my talking points, then I’ll pause, take a breath, and look at my notes.
Another: If someone criticizes my work, then I’ll thank them for the feedback and take a moment to process.
Why it works: These statements reduce decision fatigue and give your brain a ready-made path to follow when stress hits.
- Focus on Micro-Wins
When you’re panicked, your brain wants to blow the problem out of proportion. Combat this by shrinking the task at hand into something manageable.
What to do: Identify one tiny step you can take immediately, like responding to one email or writing one sentence of a report.
Why it works: Completing a small task gives you a dopamine hit, which boosts your mood and helps you build momentum. Success breeds success, even if it’s tiny.
These strategies are like putting training wheels on your confidence. The more you use them, the more your brain will naturally respond with calm and composure.
Remember: it’s not about never feeling stressed, it’s about meeting stress with tools that empower you, not derail you.
Confidence Is a Skill
About that workshop I mentioned earlier? Thanks to the tools I shared with you to rewire your brain, I do feel prepared and ready to tackle it. I have been able to keep my mind clear thanks to my natural response of calm, rather than to run to the panic button and give up.
Building confidence isn’t about erasing stress or turning into some Zen monk who never flinches under pressure. It’s about giving your brain a new playbook—one that lets you face challenges with clarity, calm, and control.
Remember, your brain is a living, evolving masterpiece. It’s not stuck in panic mode forever unless you let it stay there. Using the strategies I shared will teach your brain a new way to respond. And with time, those panic pathways will fade, replaced by a confidence circuit you can rely on.
You won’t get it perfect every time, and that’s okay. (I don’t!) Confidence doesn’t mean never feeling fear or doubt—it means learning how to navigate them without losing your footing. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when your inner critic is shouting “Run for the hills!”
