Stress is a confidence killer.
It makes you forget that you woke up awesome this morning.
One of my teenage nieces likes to remind me that even though I’m a cool aunt, I can still be a total dork.
I agree with her every, single time.
There is plenty of evidence to support her observation and it’s almost a guarantee within the next five minutes, I’ll do something that cements her belief that I’m not likely to change.
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Even when she makes a mistake and begins to beat herself up about it, I am quick to find something funny, usually at my own expense, to help her laugh and bring levity to the moment. I know that she knows we all make mistakes, but at her age, mistakes can seem far worse than they actually are.
Not only is my job as an aunt to be cool, but to help her build confidence.
So, I use my self-deprecating sense of humor to show her she’s not alone and provide a different perspective on the situation. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and done a lot of dumb things, so I’m never at a loss for material.
Laughter = Confidence
Laughter is the best medicine and it also is an incredible confidence builder – especially in times of extreme stress.
When you are stressed out, it’s easy to forget to laugh because nothing seems remotely close to funny or entertaining – but this is when you need humor and laughter the most.
Laughter produces positive emotions that lead to a kind of thriving, and we forget the personal ego. These positive emotions allow us to suspend negativity – even momentarily – so that our body becomes flush with feelings of delight, joy, and happiness.
The feelings of amusement build resiliency, boost confidence, and increase creative thinking. When you laugh, you take yourself or a situation less seriously, which can empower you to problem-solve and be creative.
Studies have shown that laughter makes us feel safer, particularly in group settings. Having a laugh together makes us feel safer and strengthens bonds. Feeling safe makes you feel more confident.
Humor is one of the easiest ways to build confidence in yourself and others.
Humor Can Change Your Perspective
Learning how to utilize humor and laughter can be the difference between seeing something as a challenge instead of a threat.
When something is seen as a threat, your stress levels rise. That stress begins to cloud your judgement, sense that something can be fixed or overcome, and eats away at your energy and confidence.
Shifting your mindset to see a situation as a challenge can make you feel more empowered and resilient, create energy, and help clear your mind to see solutions rather than problems.
Taking something that threatens your sense of self and finding the humor in it, makes it less intimidating.
For example, just before I go on a stage to speak to an audience of any size, I can feel my nerves starting bubble up and threaten my confidence. If I allow my nerves to take over, they will almost certainly affect the quality of my speaking. So, I take a moment to make myself laugh because that spark of humor helps me remember one of my greatest strengths.
Laughter, Humor, and Burnout
I didn’t know this at the time, but it was my sense of humor that was the greatest driver of my burnout recovery. And, today, it remains the cornerstone of my stress management.
I remember waking up each morning and laughing to myself about my dog’s ability to take over most of our bed. At some point in the night, my space in the bed had been reduced to a six-inch sliver and I’d wake up clinging to the edge. We didn’t fall asleep this way.
She was also not a “morning dog,” much like I’m not a “morning person.” We spent the first 15-minutes of our day daring each other to get out of bed. I would inevitably giggle, need to pee, and lose the bet.
That early morning giggle distracted me enough from the impending dumpster fire of day, to get me going.
When burned out, confidence is usually non-existent. It makes sense because it doesn’t feel like anything is going your way or feel like anything is working. You’re not only stressed, but you’re scare, overwhelmed and frustrated. And, when confidence is lacking, so is motivation.
Ultimately, my humor was a spark for motivation. That motivation sparked action. And, that action sparked confidence.
Humor was enough to suspend my very unfunny reality so that my mind was clear enough to see solutions instead of problems.
How to Build Confidence Through Laughter
The way you perceive yourself influences both your confidence and performance. If you can see the value yourself, you can feel it, too. And, you can show your value to others by making them laugh. It turns out, when you can make others laugh, you:
- Increase your likability
- Become more memorable
- Become more trustworthy
- Are seen as more intelligent
- Strengthen and build relationships
Creating positive feelings in others also increases your confidence. It feels good to make others feel good.
You can build confidence through humor by:
- Laugh at yourself. Not only did you wake up awesome, but you also wake up funny. Loosen up and laugh at something you did or you are doing. Why do you have 27 pairs of the exact same underwear?
- Let your guard down. Just a little. Be willing to own up to a mistake or miscue. Instead of becoming flush with embarrassment, laugh at yourself instead.
- Get comfortable with being silly. Why settle for one cherry on top of your ice cream sundae when you can pour on the entire jar? We all have a habit or a thought that is totally laughable to someone else.
- Don’t take things personally. If someone makes a joke at your expense – laugh. Even if it’s fake laughter that is mocking them.
- Remember people love to hear you laugh. It’s contagious. And, sometimes, in their darkest moments they need you to help them laugh too.
