The annual sign that holiday chaos is on the horizon is in the entrance of my grocery store: a Christmas tree towering over a pumpkin patch.
Nearly every woman I know smells holiday stress mixed in with the pumpkin spice, pine, and cinnamon being pumped into the air.
You hear the same holiday stress management advice each year, that you should get a plan together to manage your holiday time and energy better so you can enjoy the holidays. It’s true, but even with the best intentions, those plans don’t always work. Here’s why:
- You’re worried about other people’s feelings.
- You’re stuck in perfectionist and people pleasing mode.
- Unrealistic standards and expectations – yours and everyone else’s.
Let’s break down how to overcome these barriers with five practical tips for managing holiday stress and preventing burnout.
Also part of holiday stress management: Learning how to handle stressful family gatherings. Download by clicking here to get your Ultimate Family Gathering Survival Guide.
IDEA 1: Prioritize Your ‘Hell No’ List: A Holiday Stress-Busting Strategy
What This Prevents:
- Overwhelm and chaos
- Feeling like you should do all of the things
- Doing things you hate or being around people who drain you
How to Manage Holiday Stress: Before you start dreaming up your holiday plans, let’s get one thing straight: This is the year to start your plans with a ‘Hell No’ List.
Write down everything you hate doing or that drains your energy during the holidays. This is your key to protecting your time and sanity.
What have you promised yourself in years past that you won’t do again? What makes you so miserable during the holidays that you don’t enjoy them?
Identify the activities, events, or tasks that drain your energy because you are delegating them to someone else this year.
Why You Probably Won’t Do It: When we start going down the “just say no” path, our minds tend to fill with objections and excuses. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or you feel guilty about not doing away with a family tradition.
Why You Should Do It: The real issue here is that no one likes change. For you to find your own peace and happiness, something is going to have to change. Which means you’re going to have to sit in a bit of discomfort to get what you want.
Mindset Shift: Instead of focusing on potential objections and excuses, think about the good things that will happen. Instead of feeling stressed and anxious, you’ll actually get to experience the holidays. You get to eat what you cooked, watch the holiday movie with your family instead of cleaning up, or stay at home and relax instead of attending a holiday party that makes you miserable.
Other people’s reactions? Not your problem. They’re really not. You have no control over how other people think, feel, and behave. Only the way that you do.
Tip: Set boundaries like a pro using playful, but firm excuses. “Sorry, I’m booked. And by ‘booked,’ I mean I’ll be home in pajamas.’
Or, “I need to manage my fa-la-la’ing better this year so we can all have more fun. How about you host the family Christmas party this year? I’ll bring a couple of dishes.”
IDEA 2: Uncap the Power of Micro-Energy Boosters
What This Prevents:
- Running out of energy and patience
- Getting irritable and resentful
How to Recharge and Boost Energy: Look, you’re not Santa. You can’t run on cookies and coffee alone.
This year, gift yourself opportunities for quick, energy re-charging activities throughout the day. Just stretching by a bright window for 5 minutes or sneaking in a guilt-free episode of your favorite show can refill your energy well.
In years past, you have run on fumes to get through the holidays. How did that feel? Kinda sucked, right?
Positive energy creates more positive energy and it’s up to you to make it a priority so that you can keep that picturesque holiday in your mind firing on all cylinders.
Why You Probably Won’t Do It: Who has time? You have so many things to do!
Why You Should Do It: Do you hear yourself? This is the exact thing you’re here to avoid.
Sometimes we must sacrifice something to make room for something else that is actually more beneficial. In this case, you’ll need to sacrifice an energy draining task to make room for an energy creating one. (Bummer.)
Don’t make excuses when you ask other people or cancel something, just tell others and yourself that you “have a conflict and need some help.” This phrasing puts other people in the mindset that they are supporting you. Will they be inconvenienced or disappointed? Maybe. But that’s not your problem to worry about or absorb.
Mindset Shift: Micro-breaks compound into sustainable energy reserves. Prioritize yourself and you’ll have more to give to others.
Tip: Keep a list of energy and happiness producing activities on your phone for quick access. A few ideas:
- Holiday-themed playlist for a quick dance or karaoke party.
- Link to videos that always make you laugh. (Animal videos do the trick for me.)
- Call a friend that always knows how to make you laugh and smile so you both get a pick-me-up.
IDEA 3: Outsource Like a Holiday CEO
What This Prevents:
- Overwhelm and chaos
- Feeling like you’re failing to meet expectations
How to Delegate and Manage Holiday Tasks: Friend, even Santa has a team of elves to assist him all season. Why shouldn’t you?
Look at your Hell No List and start delegating. There’s no shame in having your groceries delivered this time of year, hiring some help around the house to keep things tidy, or asking your family to pick up some extra chores.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed with details. And, you might have an ideal picture in your head of how you want the holidays to look and feel. You can get closer to this idea by getting others to help.
Why You Probably Won’t Do It: Your inner critic is fueled by the limiting belief that you “should” be able to do everything yourself.
Why You Should Do It: What you “should” be doing is protecting your peace so that the holidays don’t feel like one long stress-filled event that drains you of all happiness and sanity. Outsourcing helps you focus on what matters most.
Look, the holidays are a lot. You want to make memories and see happiness on your family and friends’ faces. But you’ll see, appreciate, and remember nothing if you are too busy being busy. Just because someone else made dinner or put up the holiday decorations doesn’t make it any less meaningful. Is it possible that you are missing the right meaning/intention of your actions?
Mindset Shift: You could be helping someone else who needs to make some extra cash this holiday season.
Tip: Ask friends and colleagues for recommendations on businesses, apps, and people they trust for handling their extra holiday responsibilities.
IDEA 4: Manage Expectations (Yours and Everyone Else’s)
What This Prevents:
- Unrealistic standards and expectations
- Disappointment and hurt feelings
- Guilt
How to Set Realistic Holiday Expectations: Pinterest, our friend’s social media feeds, and the Hallmark Channel have set unrealistic standards for how the holidays should look. Everything doesn’t have to be and won’t be perfect. Life happens.
Instead, focus on activities that bring you joy. If you love baking, what’s stopping you? Delegate less important tasks, and spend time doing the things you actually enjoy.
(This is the key step!) Then communicate your needs and desires for this holiday season with others. Help them understand ahead of time what will be different and how this benefits all of you.
Why You Probably Won’t Do It: You don’t want to be disappointed or let anyone down. When you say you can’t or won’t do something you feel guilty. It seems like it’s easier to avoid this by just dealing with the temporary pain it causes you to keep your reputation intact.
Why You Should Do It: Trying to live up to unrealistic expectations leads to burnout, resentment, and stress. Set new, realistic standards that match your holiday goals.
If your intention for the holidays is to create happiness and joy, it can’t come from a place of resentment. Create standards and expectations that achieve your intentions for the holiday. Again, the key here is to be sure you communicate with everyone.
Mindset Shift: Perfection is stressful, not fun.
Tip: Holiday stress management can be your focus by creating a holiday mission statement. What’s the one thing you want to accomplish this season? Let that guide your decisions.
IDEA 5: The Holiday Chill Manifesto
What This Prevents:
- Stress and anxiety
- Your opinionated inner critic
How to Relax and Enjoy the Holidays: Most of us want to create lasting memories during the holidays, but it’s impossible to do that unless you’re present in the moment. This year, prioritize your own sanity and happiness. When you’re happy, those around you will be, too.
This year, prioritize your own sanity and happiness. The surprising effect? It will trickle down to others. When you’re happy, they will be too.
Similar to a mission statement, a manifesto will layout your beliefs, intentions, and expectations for yourself. It will help you clear up any misconceptions and excuses that you still hold about prioritizing time and energy management this season.
An example of a Holiday Chill Manifesto:
This holiday season, I vow to prioritize my well-being over perfection. I’ll say no to obligations that drain me, embrace imperfections, and schedule downtime like it’s a VIP event. The goal? To enjoy the present moment —literally and figuratively.
Why You Probably Won’t Do It: It seems selfish, or even maybe kind of silly.
Why You Should Do It: Creating a manifesto will keep you focused and motivated. Especially if you keep it in a place where you will see it throughout the holidays.
When we write things down, we are more likely to remember them. We’re also more likely to actually do the thing.
Mindset Shift: Stress and anxiety are contagious, but so are laughter and happiness.
Tip: Chill this holiday season.
