I have always been a little bit of an anxious mess, particularly when things are too quiet.
If I am in the check-out at the grocery store and the cashier isn’t particularly chatty, I will inevitably make a dumb joke.
When there is a lull in the conversation with my therapist, I’ll blurt out something that changes the conversation.
And, when I walk my dogs, I have an entirely one-sided conversation with them.
Here’s the problem with anxiety: the more you try to fight it, the worse it gets. Have you ever tried to stop crying in public?
Anxiety is a fear of something that might happen in the future. And, at its root, anxiety is about our thoughts.
Our brains naturally want stability and certainty – except uncertainty is a reality of life. Uncertainty makes us anxious and vulnerable, so that’s where anxiety steps in to lead you to worry or run away because you lack control.
Anxiety is a normal response that everyone experiences, and actually part of what drives many people. Anxiety becomes a problem when it’s debilitating and taking over your life. When it shifts from something that motivates you, to something that keeps you from moving forward.
Anxiety Is Not Your Enemy
It’s okay to sometimes feel stressed and/or worried about aspects of your life. It is possible to use anxiety as a positive catalyst in your life. It can happen by listening to your anxiety and emotions, as well as, hearing the messages that your body is trying to share.
Start by getting curious about your state of mind by paying attention to yourself during an anxious episode. Consider:
- What thoughts are you having? What started them?
- What are you feeling in your body?
- What are you aware is happening around you?
Building an awareness to the process your mind goes through can help you see patterns to either avoid the trigger or look for ways to lessen its impact. Once you have established awareness, you can use it to begin to channel your anxiety to positive thoughts and activities to manage your mindset.
Four Ways You Can Use Your Anxiety to Work For You Rather Than Against You
Your anxiety symptoms tell you your mind is concerned about something, and your mind wants you to find a solution. To develop your anxiety into a “superpower,” use your anxiety to try:
- Identify positive changes you need to make: Anxiety is a clear sign of a need to change. Consider what is bothering or worrying you, then create a plan of action to deal with that source of stress. Think of it as nervous energy that needs a clear outlet or funnel.
- Identify what is important to you, priorities: You only feel concern or worry for people or things you actually care about. If you begin to worry or feel nervous energy, use it to make a decision and act on it.
- Use it as an opportunity for self-growth: Decide what you can and can’t change or control. Then, let go of what you can’t. Allow anxiety and stress to be reminders to let go of wanting to be in control.
- Choose an anchor: Routines help reduce general feelings of anxiety. Doing the same thing at regular intervals signals to your brain that you are safe. A regular journaling habit, taking a walk at the same time each day, or any activity that you find cathartic or grounding.
The key to managing your anxiety is learning to identify it, understand it, and respond to it with self-compassion. Uncomfortable feelings will come and go – and come back again. The most productive response is to show up with an open mind, ready to explore the thoughts and emotions that come up.
