The Quiet Mental Load Female Entrepreneurs Need to… Unload

When I opened my first business, I was not only new to business ownership, but I was also new to managing employees.

Because I was still green in this area, I spent some time reading books and watching online seminars about managing and engaging with employees.

One of the points that was made repeatedly: be friendly, but not friends, with your employees.

For someone who loves making friends and getting to know people, I found this to be a hard balance to strike with those who worked with me and the people who were also clients of my business.

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What I also learned is that because I am a woman, I was not only supposed to be friendly, but also act and react as a friend would to the challenges and problems my employees faced not only at work, but in their personal lives, too.

When I created boundaries in my relationships with my employees, I was often seen as cold or heartless.

Initially, I thought it was due to my inexperience. Then, I hired a male assistant manager and realized it had more to do with my gender. Not nearly as many of my female or male employees seemed to expect him to listen to their personal problems or “give them a break” when they were running late. Clients didn’t push boundaries when it came to asking for discounts or asking for exceptions to be made on their behalf that were extra work for my staff.

Over time, I realized I was seen as more of a mom than a boss.

The Hidden Mental Load: Challenges Unique to Female Entrepreneurs

Mental Load refers to the invisible, behind-the-scenes mental gymnastics that seems to be required to ensure that everything gets done and everyone is taken care of.

When the mental load of women is discussed, it is usually referencing working moms having to balance their careers with taking care of their family and home.

But female entrepreneurs carry their own invisible mental load that weighs them down.

Also referred to as “worry work” or “cognitive labor,” the mental load is about being the one in charge of a never-ending to do list in your head, remember what needs to get done and when, tracking appointments and calendars, delegating tasks to respective family members, and making sure they actually get done.

In the dynamic world of entrepreneurship, women business owners face a unique set of challenges that often go unrecognized. They also carry their own version of that invisible mental burden that significantly impacts their success and well-being.

We’re often asked or expected by employees and clients to:

• Be more personable and remember personal details.
• Provide more emotional support and personal advice, blurring professional boundaries.
• Be more flexible with scheduling and last-minute changes.
• Provide more personal support to employees, acting as a mentor or counselor.
• Meet higher expectations for professional appearance and grooming.
• Always maintain a positive, nurturing demeaner, without losing patience.
• Hide or downplay emotions to avoid being labeled as “emotional” or “difficult.”
• Carefully modulate assertiveness to avoid being perceived as aggressive, bossy, or a bitch.
• Ignore microaggressions or biased comments.
• Manage household and childcare responsibilities alongside their business.
• Constantly work to overcome stereotypes and prove competence, must over-prepare and have more credentials than male peers to be taken seriously.
• Jump through more hoops to obtain funding and financial investment in our business ideas and plans.

Understanding the Entrepreneurial Mental Load

The mental load for female entrepreneurs encompasses the multiple responsibilities they have both in business and personal life. While all entrepreneurs face challenges, women often bear additional burdens due to societal expectations and ingrained gender roles.

Key components of female Entrepreneurs’ mental load include:

1. Business-Personal Life Balance:
   • Managing household responsibilities alongside business duties
   • Feeling pressure to be present for family while growing a business
2. Emotional Labor in Business Relationships:
   • Building and maintaining client relationships with added emotional intelligence
   • Navigating gender biases in networking and partnership opportunities
3. Impostor Syndrome and Self-Doubt:
   • Constantly proving credibility in male-dominated industries
   • Overcoming internalized doubts about leadership abilities
4. Financial Stress and Risk Management:
   • Dealing with gender bias in funding and investment opportunities
   • Balancing financial risks with family financial responsibilities
5. Work-Life Integration Challenges:
   • Difficulty in “switching off” from business concerns
   • Feeling guilty about time spent on self-care or personal interests

The Impact of Mental Load on Female Entrepreneurs

The cumulative effect of carrying this mental load can lead to increased stress levels and a higher risk of burnout among female entrepreneurs. The constant juggling of responsibilities and the pressure to excel in multiple roles can be emotionally and physically draining.

With mental energy diverted to managing various aspects of life and business simultaneously, female entrepreneurs may find less time and cognitive space for strategic thinking and business expansion.

The added pressure of navigating gender biases and proving oneself in business settings can exacerbate feelings of imposter syndrome, potentially holding women back from pursuing larger opportunities or taking necessary risks.

Strategies for Managing the Entrepreneurial Mental Load

Here are five strategies female entrepreneurs can employ to manage the extra mental load they carry:

1. Acknowledge and Validate the Load

Recognize that the mental load you’re carrying is real and significant. Validating your experience is the first step in addressing it effectively.

2. Delegate and Outsource

• Identify tasks that can be delegated within your business
• Consider outsourcing personal responsibilities (e.g., house cleaning, meal prep)
• Involving family members in household duties

3. Build a Support Network

• Connect with other female entrepreneurs who understand your challenges
• Join or create mastermind groups for mutual support and problem-solving
• Seek mentorship from experienced entrepreneurs

4. Set Clear Boundaries

• Establish work hours and communicate them to clients and family
• Create designated spaces for work and personal life
• Practice saying “no” to commitments that don’t align with your priorities5. Challenge Gender Expectations

• Be aware of and challenge internalized gender roles
• Communicate openly with partners, family, and colleagues about shared responsibilities
• Advocate for yourself in business settings and negotiations

Embracing Your Unique Strengths as a Female Entrepreneur

While the mental load presents challenges, it’s important to recognize the unique strengths that women bring to entrepreneurship:

• Multitasking Abilities: The skill of juggling multiple responsibilities can translate into efficient business management.
• Emotional Intelligence: Strong interpersonal skills can lead to better team management and client relationships.
• Resilience: Overcoming gender-specific challenges can build extraordinary resilience and problem-solving skills.
• Intuitive Decision Making: Balancing multiple factors often leads to more holistic business decisions.

Moving Forward: Redefining Success on Your Own Terms

As a female entrepreneur, it’s crucial to define success in a way that aligns with your values and life goals. Too often, we accept what is already in place or what we see others doing as the direction we should go. However, it’s important to define what success looks and feels like for you.

This might mean:

• Prioritizing work-life integration over traditional work-life balance
• Measuring success by personal growth and impact, not just financial metrics
• Creating a business model that supports your desired lifestyle

By acknowledging the unique mental load you carry and implementing strategies to manage it, you can not only survive but thrive as a female entrepreneur. Remember, your journey is unique, and your approach to entrepreneurship can be as innovative as your business ideas.