How many times have your emotions spoken for you, rather than your rational mind?
You’re furious about something. Rather than trying to calm down, you want to shoot off an angry text or email telling the other person where they can shove it.
You see a social media post that is offensive. So, you fire off a comment insulting the person who posted it.
Or, you get cutoff in traffic. You honk your horn at the driver who cut you off. Still unable to let go, once you catch up with them a bit further down the road, you make sure they know what a horrible driver they are by giving them the middle finger.
Oh? Is this just me?
These are all signs that stress has taken over, and your mind is not thinking rationally, but emotionally.
When I was chronically stressed and burned out, my emotions ran my life and made many terrible decisions. (I wasn’t just giving drivers the middle finger.)
Stress Makes Us Do Strange Things
Our stress shows up to help us control whatever feels out of control. Except that trying to keep your stress under control usually only increases your stress level.
The reason why we have a difficult time keeping our emotions in check is because a logical mind and a stressed-out mind are speaking two different languages.
A logical mind prefers words (intellectual), while a stressed-out mind prefers action (physical).
Sometimes this can be useful when we need that extra pinch of motivation to take action. However, if your stress levels stay in a heightened state for a long period of time, you tend to lose control and the extra stress is no longer useful. This is when you begin to form coping mechanisms that lead to bad habits.
8 Things People Do When They Experience Chronic Stress and Burnout
What does this look like when stress has taken over and you are no longer thinking rationally?
- The Catastrophic Conclusion Jump: You instantly conclude the worst possible outcomes from minor setbacks.Real-life example: Someone says something mean to you, doesn’t do what you have asked them to do, or makes a mistake. Now, “everyone sucks.”
Solution: It’s time to shift your perspective. Sometimes this works best with a trusted friend helping you recognize those moments when you need to come to more realistic conclusions to small, fixable problems.
- The Apocalyptic “What If” Scenario Crafting: Making up elaborate disaster scenarios from ordinary situations.Real-life example: Making a mistake with a client’s project becomes a prelude to your business going under or losing your job.Solution: Our imaginations are wonderful – until they’re not. When your imagination is going into overdrive, recognize this is your worry taking over. The problem with worrying is that it doesn’t lead to a solution. It helps to find a mantra that brings you back to Earth. “I will deal with that if it arises.” Or, “That’s not going to happen, so I refuse to waste my precious time worrying about it.”
- The Time Warp Complaint: Complaining about never having enough time, yet spending a lot of time stressing about it.Real-life example: “I don’t have time for this!” you scream. Then, you proceed to panic for the next hour and remain unproductive.Solution: Take a look at your time management. Ask yourself if the work you are currently doing or committed to aligns with your priorities. If not, start delegating or saying no.
- The Overwhelmed Overachiever’s Oath: Promising to take on even more tasks when you are already swamped. (Often coupled with The Time Warp Complaint.)Real-life example: You’re already running late from trying to squeeze too much in and having a panic attack about having too much to do. Yet, you commit to another task or responsibility.Solution: It’s time to learn how to say no and enforce your boundaries. Not sure how? Check out my book titled Stop Being A Doormat.
- The Serial Apologizer: Apologizing for things that don’t warrant an apology.Real-life example: You bump into a table and apologize to it.Solution: This is a sign that your self-confidence has taken a hit. A quick way to boost it? Adjust your posture. Seriously! Sit up straight, or stand up with your chest out and proud and a shoulders straight.
- Deadline Denier or the Procrastination Cleaner: Pretending deadlines don’t exist or rationalizing procrastination by telling yourself that you work best under pressure.Real-life example: I have a million things to do, but I think this is the best time to organize my sock drawer.Solution: Channel your stress into productive action. What is one small step you can take or task you can accomplish that helps you meet your deadline?
- Mindless Munching: Stress eating as if snack foods contain the answer to all of your problems.Real-life example: Chocolate is the answer. What was the question?Solution: I have a hard time telling you that chocolate isn’t the answer to everything, but there are other ways to cope with your stress. A healthier option is to get up for a few minutes to take a walk to distract yourself.
- The Social Media Scroll Spiral: Endless scrolling through social media as a distraction, leading to more stress.Real-life example: “I’m just going to check Instagram for a few minutes.” Three hours later…
Solution: It may be time to delete the all too tempting social media app from your phone, or at least make it less accessible. I hate having to re-enter my passwords, so I don’t save them on my phone for my social media apps. This extra obstacle is often enough to help me find a healthier option for getting rid of my stress.
