I would prefer to eliminate stress without stressing about it. It would be a lot easier if I could ignore my stress without it impacting my mood, productivity, and my mental health.
Just the other day it would have been sooooo helpful to ignore my stress when I was speaking to 150 people at a conference. It would have been nice if my heartrate would have chilled out, my stomach didn’t knot up, and sweat didn’t start rolling down my temple.
But no, biology has put us in a position where we have to pay attention to our stress levels so we don’t have a heart attack in the middle of the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Which can make it seem like learning to eliminate stress is a losing battle.
Add my weekly email to your stress management and burnout recovery routine.
I Want to Say “No problem!” Without Secretly Listing All of The Reasons It Is A Problem
I think a lot about wanting to be the kind of person who isn’t bothered by much. Having the ability to walk around carefree. (Which, by the way, you and I could literally do in a spot called Carefree, Arizona.)
Unfortunately, I am not naturally one of those people. I feel responsible to people in my life, a desire to leave an impact on the world, and wonder how many people notice what I had for lunch because I am wearing it on my shirt.
If you and I are were going to eliminate stress by pretending it didn’t exist, we would have to:
- Have flexible expectations about outcomes.
- Stop struggling and believing that life doesn’t have to be an uphill battle.
- Make the conscious and intentional decision EVERYDAY to show up as we want to be seen.
- Practice gratitude.
- Allow others to be the who and where they are – even if it means they remain annoying or lazy.
Ugh. That’s a lot to let go of. And it basically means we’d have to allow the Earth to spin on its own without any interference from us. I don’t know about you, but pretending there are people and situations that don’t need my unsolicited advice and judgement seems… impossible.
Miraculously, there are people who are born not giving a shit and others who have learned to do so. And, I don’t mean they don’t care in a malicious, harmful way. Rather, they don’t allow a lot of stuff to bother them. They have an easier time pretending their stress doesn’t exist and that the world is their oyster.
What Is the Benefit of Living Without a Care?
When I think about people who seem to live without a care, I imagine their life is serene, simple, and peaceful. They skip to work every day and hold regular dance parties in their cubicle. They don’t worry what other people think and keep on keepin’ on while ignoring the ketchup stain on their shirt from lunch.
They have slowed the world down to their pace.
Some of the benefits of living this way include:
- Little to no anxiety or stress
- Ability to live as and be yourself
- Doing work that is fulfilling
- Simpler life
- More self-care
- Better connections with others
- More focus and concentration
In my opinion, the biggest benefit is that they are living in the moment. They are present for themselves and for the people they care about. This means they are happier, have more energy, and have less emotional distress.
If you and I could l learn to pretend our stress doesn’t exist, this could be us!
How to Eliminate Stress By Pretending It Doesn’t Exist
Basically, what I’m saying, is that if you learn how to live a more carefree lifestyle, you will have an easier time pretending your stress doesn’t exist.
Becoming carefree doesn’t mean that you become selfish or suddenly find yourself with the ability to cut to the front of a long line while ignoring the protests behind you.
Becoming carefree means that you are letting go of limiting beliefs and outcomes, focusing more on the positive and less on the negative, accepting your shortcomings while bolstering your strengths.
It sounds like a lot of work to me. I’m already tired and looking for a short-cut.
To know me well, is to know I love playing the What If Game. I use this game as a way of helping myself – and others – see another perspective, another solution, or what life would be like if I didn’t give a shit.
What I am doing is giving myself permission to be imperfect, to choose, to take a chance, and to take action.
When I do those things, my stress becomes more of a motivator because I can feel how I allow it to be an obstacle. Obstacles – especially obstacles within my control – annoy the hell out of me. And, I naturally tend to ignore them if I see a way around them.
The Rules of the What If Game to Eliminate Stress
The rules of the What If Game are pretty simple. The next time you are in a stressful situation take a moment to ask yourself “What if I…”
For example, you are stuck in traffic which is making you late for an important appointment. Instead of ruminating on how stuck you are or how late you are going to be or how mad another person will get – ask yourself: What if I didn’t allow this traffic to bother me and used this time to think about something else?
Some of you might immediately find yourself thinking about something else and ignoring your stress.
Some of you might think “This is stupid, but what else have I got to do?” So you start thinking about what life would be like if traffic was non-existent or you had a helicopter to shuttle you around town.
And, some of your minds might open up to solutions like calling ahead to your appointment to let them know you’ll be late. These action-oriented solutions allow you to do something to lessen your stress, the negative voices in your head, and feel like you are doing something.
The great thing about this game is that doesn’t take much time to play or a lot of energy to win.
Go On and Pretend Your Stress Doesn’t Exist
I promise I won’t tell anyone you are faking it.
Some of stress management will be faking it till you make it because you need to interrupt your body’s natural stress response. You need to tell it that it is not in charge and you are doing something else.
Learning to be more carefree and pretending your stress doesn’t exist can be a viable means of managing your stress. And, I also think part of this experience is learning to laugh at yourself and find humor even in the toughest moments. I think carefree people laugh a lot.
Laughter is a stress buster that is contagious. Rarely will people get mad for making them laugh and letting the hot air out of the pressure cooker.
