I swear to all things good and holy that sometimes I am speaking into a vortex and my words get lost in a void. Sometimes I feel like I have to lose my shit before someone actually listens to me.
Without a doubt, I know my death will consist of me saying something no one hears, then witnessing someone else say the exact same thing to people who are actually listening because they respond to the “genius.” After a proper meltdown, I’ll try to run through a wall like Wile E. Coyote showed me in Looney Tunes cartoons.
I’m not worried about making a fool of myself because I’m sure no one will be paying attention to that either.
Yes. I’m having a moment and you’re witnessing it.
Fine. I’ll Tell You What Happened.
Without identifying the guilty parties, I’ll give you a replay of what happened. (Grab some popcorn.)
I was asked by a someone related to me to pull together some ideas for a certain other person’s upcoming milestone birthday. Excited, I spent HOURS generating some ideas that I thought would be special to the guest of honor.
After about a week, I shared my top three ideas with the person who asked me to generate them. This person didn’t like any of them. So, this person asked someone else to join in the brainstorming and come up with a few more ideas.
Can you guess where this is going? I think you do because I can already feel you getting frustrated for me. (And, I appreciate that.)
The idea that was dubbed the best out of this second batch of ideas was exactly the same as one of the ideas I had pitched.
I did what any other rational person would do and shoved my phone in my husband’s face asking, “am I crazy? Am I? Did I miss something? Tell me that these two ideas are exactly the same! I’m right? Right?”
“Jennifer, I think it’s time to take five and check your list,” my husband said. The list he is referring to is checking “Jennifer’s Subtle Art of Losing Your Shit, Then Getting It Back List.”
Do I risk losing my shit often enough that I have an official list?
The short answer: Yes.
You’re Human – It’s Okay to Lose Your Shit
We all have breaking points. We’re human. Often, our meltdowns are warranted because other people are… You know what? I shouldn’t go there. But, I know you know what I am talking about. (Wink. Wink.)
It’s frustrating not feeling heard, appreciated, loved, or even acknowledged. I’d rather me and you lose our shit every once in a while, so that we can let go of those toxic thoughts and feelings.
Some of you may also be like me in the sense that it takes a lot of pushing to get you to blow your top. But, of course, people only see that one moment where you are losing your mind and not the 73 times you patiently let an awkward comment slide, or had an idea stolen, or helped another person clean up the same mess over and over again.
Nope. An audience always knows just when to arrive to see the show.
Jennifer’s Subtle Art of Losing Your Shit, Then Getting It Back List
I do believe these moments are less about boundaries and more about feeling overwhelmed through no fault of your own. I wish there was a solution for this, but people are going to be all peopley and treat us poorly sometimes. (Hopefully, not intentionally!)
If you have hung around me for any amount of time, you have heard me say that we cannot control what other people say, think, or do. But, we have complete control over our own thoughts, behavior, and actions.
So, when I have been pushed to my limit, I like to visit Jennifer’s Subtle Art of Losing Your Shit, Then Getting It Back List. I encourage you to adapt mine or make your own because we can’t stay lost in our stressful mess.
When I lose my mind, I do one of the following:
Jennifer’s Subtle Art of Losing Your Shit, Then Getting It Back List
- Ask for Help: Why do we insist on toughing things out alone? As if no one else has issues or needs some assistance getting through a stressful event. We are all human. We have emotions and feelings we feel. I have someone I trust on speed dial who will take the secret of my meltdown to their grave. And, I have made the same promise in blood in return.
- Get Some Air: It’s easy to get overwhelmed and forget to breathe. I take a few deep breaths to interrupt my stress response. (Or, at least try it before I do something I’ll regret.)
- Find the funny: If I can get myself to laugh, I know calming down is within reach. One of my favorites is to remind myself “there is a solid chance this isn’t worth going to prison for. So, let it go.”
- Open My Release Valve: When I feel like I am about to explode – a.k.a. lose my shit – I will do one of two things to release that stress: I either write out my thoughts, nearly tearing a hole in the paper. Or, I punch a pile of pillows until I can say something nice to someone.
- Dig Deep to Find Something Positive: When something frustrating or bad happens, it feels next to impossible to find something good to take away from it. When I got rear-ended a few years ago, I was frustrated because I was already late to an appointment. As I stood in the street waiting for the insurance company to walk me through a report, I stared at my bumper and thought “Well, now someone else is paying to fix the ding from the pole I backed into six months ago.”
- Partner Up: I don’t know anyone on this Earth who doesn’t need to vent at times. Find your venting partner. Someone who knows you just need to get rid of the poison. They understand you don’t need a solution, a rational plan, or even someone to tell you it will be okay. You just need to say what you aren’t supposed to be thinking.
- Treat Myself: Sometimes, when I am about to lose my shit, it’s because I feel overwhelmed doing something I feel like I have to do. If I couple this activity with something I enjoy doing – rewarding myself with a glass of wine or a mani/pedi, I can muster up the energy to make it through.
