There are days when I feel like my mental strength is nowhere to be found while the universe is challenging me with everything it’s got.
Last week, I had one of those days.
Nothing went as planned, too many people tried to make their crisis my emergency, and my back injury was making it difficult to do all that I needed to do.
Days of Yore Jennifer (when I was burned out) would I have succumbed to the stress and gone down in flames. Meaning: I might react with a mixture of hurtful sarcasm, lots of short, snappy answers, and giving looks that tell everyone where they can…
During my burnout recovery, I noticed there were people in my life that were able to handle difficult days and ridiculous people without flinching. No matter what came their way, they had a solution and were almost sickeningly positive about the outcome.
These people had mental strength and resilience.
Difference Between Mental Strength and Mental Toughness
People who are burned out are typically mentally tough, not mentally strong or resilient. There is a big difference between mental strength and mental toughness.
If you have mental strength, you:
- Have built a muscle that responds rather than reacts.
- Expect adversity and setbacks and are ready for challenges.
- Are solution-oriented
- Face pain and fear and learn how to work through them so you become more comfortable with uncertainties
On the other hand, if you are mentally tough, you:
- Have built a system that reacts to challenges
- Have coping mechanisms that allow you to avoid dealing with your pain and make excuses to avoid conquering your fears so you can get through an immediate situation
- Build a wall rather than a solution
- Mental toughness only lasts a short period of time and is unsustainable
Think of mental strength and resilience as something that allows you to overlook an insult and not think about it again because it’s not worth it. While mental toughness acknowledges the insult, puts it aside to get through the moment, but will dwell on it later.
Building Mental Strength and Resilience Is Critical to Burnout Recovery
Mental strength and resilience allow you to push back on emotions, anxiety, and stress that could send you spiraling. When faced with challenges, you resist the emotional paralysis and move toward a solution.
When you are burned out, you are swimming in negative self-talk, making excuses, and blaming others for setbacks. You may end up building mental toughness to cope because it takes less energy and doesn’t force you to deal with reality.
Somehow, though, you need to take that extra step beyond mental toughness to build your mental strength and resilience instead. And I know how impossible this may seem in the moment.
The benefits of becoming mentally strong and resilient:
- You are less stressed by the things that happen in life.
- You are motivated to keep trying and look for solutions in the face of failure.
- You don’t allow internal or external criticism to throw you off.
- You have courage and don’t fear failure because you are confident and trust your ability to find solutions.
- You don’t get attached to the process or the outcome. You realize there could be more than one solution or path.
Your Mindset Matters
Days of Yore Jennifer was anything but mentally strong or resilient. My emotions clouded my judgement and stress fueled my days. I was unwilling to look for solutions, so I ended up trudging through problems when I didn’t have to.
I think the first step toward building mental strength and resilience is a change of mindset. There are some truths, some facts about life that you have to accept so that life’s challenges don’t always feel so personal.
These would be things like:
- Accepting the consequences of your choices: You take responsibility for your actions – whether good or bad – and how your choices affect others.
- Deal with your reality: Only deal with the facts, research, and feedback instead of what you think should be happening.
- Recognize a painful past: We’ve all experienced trauma and pain, but you can’t sweep it under the rug and allow it to control your emotions or decisions. You have to make peace with it and move on.
This was hard for me and has been difficult for many of my coaching clients. We live in a world that is constantly forcing us to dwell on negativity and bad outcomes. It insists on perfection, sees vulnerability as a weakness, and makes it easier to avoid challenges.
But, mentally strong and resilient people reject this. They refuse to compare themselves to others, don’t allow self-doubt to creep in and keep them from reaching their goals, and they don’t blame themselves when something goes wrong.
Mental Strength And Resilience Is A Muscle
This is good news because it means it’s something you can build and obtain. Resilience doesn’t come naturally to any of us. We all have to consciously choose to practice so it becomes a more natural response.
Here are some strategies to work on each day that will help you build mental strength and resilience:
- Exercise your mind: Growth and development take consistent effort. Mental strength is built through lots of small wins and choices you make every day.
- Begin to embrace adversity: Learn to expect the challenges and obstacles as part of the path and process.
- Challenge yourself: Mentally strong people don’t underestimate themselves or play it safe. Take on a daily task that helps you build stamina and stretches your mind.
- Start managing self-talk: Notice what triggers the negative responses and actively change your internal responses to something positive. Remember, your thoughts turn into actions. So, if you want a positive outcome, you need to start with positive thoughts.
- Lean into change: Change occurs whether we like it or not. Being curious and flexible will help you work through it rather than avoiding it. Inevitably, your fear of uncertainty will dwindle.
